Look … I love, love Del Toro, The Shape of Water looks incredible, and it’s getting rave reviews, and I need to see it, but I absolutely can’t go to the movies. I just can’t sit down and watch that nice lady fuck Abe Sapien’s sexy cousin in a theater full of strangers. I’m not even going to be able to handle it myself 13 months from now when I get to watch it alone on my laptop. I love and respect all you freaks but I am not a monster fucker like the rest of you. And a fish? A fucking fish? You ever cut your hand by going against the grain of a fish’s scales? Hell no. Keep that away from my pussy. What’s his dick like? You don’t know. Could have spines. Not chancing it.
H.P Lovecraft tried to warn us